Do you question if he loves you? You are not alone, many women wonder about this. It could be due to many factors you ask this.
It could be that your man is: mean to you, doesn’t appear to be emotionally connected to you, has a very uncaring attitude about things, never says he loves you, always criticizing you, doesn’t seem reasonable and the list could go on and on. This article will show you how to test yourself to see if he loves you.
“He Never Says I Love You”
Before we go into the test, if you’re dealing with a man that simply never says he loves you, but clearly in many ways shows you that he does then the problem isn’t loving you. The problem could be, for example, he comes from a family that really never said “I Love You”. They more or less showed love via expressions of love, and doing things for one another.
A situation like this is no cause for alarm. Talk to him about this, but don’t expect change overnight. He’ll need time to adjust and getting his mind and lips to comfortably says those words. A little change over time is better than no change at all.
However, if you feel he treats you good and you feel truly loved without a doubt, then more than likely you are. Enjoy it.
“I Can’t Figure Him Out”
The problem with trying to figure out if he loves you happens when a man is sending you mixed signals . Mixed signals like: he wants to be with you sexually but doesn’t want a serious relationship with you or he keeps encouraging you to be with him, but he doesn’t want to commit to you or he says he really loves you but you can’t tell he does or he’s satisfied with just being friends and not taking the relationship further. All these things makes you question if you are loved. If you are dealing with these kinds of mixed signals, this love test surely is for you!
Take this Love Test.
1. Does he want a future with me? Y or N
2. Does he consider us to be a team and best friends? Y or N
3. Does he share his inner most personal life with me? Y or N
4. Can I talk to him about what I’m feeling without him blowing up or blowing me off? Y or N
5. Does he take me around his family, friends and kids if any? Y or N
6. Does he NOT use me for financial gains? Y or N
7. Do I feel I’m the only one he is seeing? Y or N
8. Does he NOT intentionally hurt me with his actions or words? Y or N
9. Does he respect me as an intelligent woman with a good head on my shoulders Y or N
10. Does he try to make me laugh and smile? Y or N
11. Do I really feel loved Y or N
What Your Answers Mean
If you answered YES to these questions then surely love is in the air. So if you feel doubts, what could really be bothering you? Are you harboring some damage from past relationships? Do you have a problem trusting people? Is your self -esteem low? Are you a jealous person? Sometimes we have to look at our selves to discover where the doubts or problems may be coming from, its not always him.
If you answered yes to all 11 questions, more than likely he really cares about you and loves you.
If you answered NO to these questions then Love is more than likely not in the air right now. You have some soul searching to do girlfriend. You need to decide if you should deal with things or go for a fix. Answering No to these questions says that you may be dealing with stress, heartache and tears more than you like to. Being under stress can lead to a heap load of health problems like high blood pressure and anxiety attacks to name a few, its not worth it. If you decide to “deal with things” and hope for a miracle change understand the risks involved if you are suffering from extreme stress.
If you decide to go for a fix (fixing the relationship for the better), try it. If it doesn’t work after giving it your all, spare yourself and him and settle for just being friends and end things. Sometimes people make better friends than lovers. Then too it could lead to a better relationship down the road when the 2 of you have had time to “air out” and let go of things that was keeping the relationship from progressing in the first place. If it was meant to be it will come back around. Ending things doesn’t always mean a final goodbye.
If You had a mix of Yes and No there are some problems that needs to be resolved to end your doubts. In this instance where love feels a little “shadey” you will need to decide based on your circumstances if you want to work on the things that are bothering you with him. You could talk to him to try to work it out, get counseling for yourself or the 2 of you if he’s open, you can deal with things as they are or if it seems to be un-fixable then taking a break from the relationship or ending the relationship may be an option. You’ll need to decide if what you answered NO to in the above test is an important factor to make you feel loved and appreciated in order to understand the direction you want to go in.
If the majority of your questions were answered with a Yes, there’s a good chance you can try work things out. No relationship is perfect, none are really easy. Some folks with the best relationships have seen troubled times. But it was working on the relationship and communication that got them to that loving place.
Keep in mind whether you answered No or You had a mix of Yes and No in your love test above, you can’t make someone love you. This has to come naturally from them and from their heart. Should a man try to change simply to please you is not good enough. That “change” will last about 14 days, he’ll forget he was working on change and revert back to his old ways. A man has to change because that’s what he really wants to do deep down.When it’s what HE really wants to do, it will last and he won’t casually “forget” he said he would change.
The “Does He Love Me” Test Really Helps Makes Things Clearer
The next time you ask yourself Does He Love Me? Take the love test, by asking yourself the 11 questions above. If he’s doing these things, there’s a good chance he loves you more than you realize.
“Love is Like a Wind, You Can’t See it, But You Can Feel It”
Written by Candace Harrison
If you know what love is all about then detecting the signs of love is quite easy. However, women today often are confused from the mixed signals a man can give off. They hear him saying “I Love You” , but Sometimes it doesn’t quite feel like he does, so most times the signs are not so clear to detect.
Signs He Loves You
When dating, the ground work for love is laid by the man who understands love and looking for love. He’s respectful, kind, patient and he makes you feel like the only woman in the world. From this, his desires, wants and needs grow to be more and more about you. He’s asking all kinds of questions about you, your parents, what you like , what you don’t like, your favorite color ..etc. He’s wanting to know everything about you.
During the Dating stages, a man beginning to show signs he loves you will start to involve himself more in your life. He’s bringing the kids around (if any), letting you meet friends and family, and planning outings for the two of you. He’s also going out of his way to make sure your happy, or simply have that piece of jewelry you always wanted.
The man that is beginning to love you turns from speaking in terms of “I” and “me” to ” us” and “we”. He’s cares about the small things with you. Like watching t.v. or just going for a ride or walking in the park holding hands. Even when you don’t want to have sex, he’s satisfied with time spent with you. There’s no pressure to give in from him.
During the course of his day, he thinks about you. He sends a cute text or calls even when he considers himself “very busy”. When you call , you feel like you’ve brightened his day.
When he eats a great meal, he wonders if you would like that meal too and gets a “take out” for you.
When he makes love to you, it’s passionate ,with care and all about you. He’s more concerned if you are satisfied than himself.
Everything to a man falling in love is better. He smiles more, He laughs more, He wants to do more especially with you. He’s sharing his ideas, thoughts and feelings with you on everything from love to his dream car.
When a man realizes he’s a better person because of you, he realizes he is falling in love with you. These are the Signs of Love.
What to Look For
You can be sure a man loves you when:
- Your feelings comes before his
- He Listens to your concerns
- He Respects You
- Hurting you is not an Option in any decision to be made
- He is Patient, cool and mild tempered with You
- He’s anxious for friends and family to meet you
- He brings his kids around you
- He knows everything about you
- He knows your first last and middle name
- He surprises you with gifts
- He lets no one disrespect you, not even family
- He remind you that you two are a team
- You can depend on him
- He never lets you down
- You can trust him
- He is Honest with you
- He’s not involved in any other relationship
- He’s not afraid to tell other women he’s happily involved
- He turns down other women’s advances
- He feels he has a lot to lose
- He doesn’t curse at you
- He’s always a gentleman
- He’s not afraid to show affection in public, even if gorgeous women are present
- He’s concerned about your mental, physical and spiritual needs
- He try’s to be the best man for you
- He considers sex to be secondary and not the main focus of the relationship
- He asks to take the relationship further ie. be his girlfriend, marry him
The signs of love can be read during the mid to latter part of the dating stages. You will see him shift from being just a guy you are dating to taking on more of a “boyfriend” type role. He’s the one making sure your ok and protected. He feels that’s his job. From here he’s asking to take the relationship further, he wants to be more than friends. He’s not a afraid to commit. This is another sign he loves you.
However, if you have been dating a man for a while and he treats you like you are not important or just another female he’s dating, then no matter how many times he says he loves you , he doesn’t love you. He has not began to truly love you. If he’s not being respectful of your time, comes up “missing” some nights, is inconsiderate, and talks more about sex and sports than getting to know you, acts very secretive, and bad at returning calls or texts he’s not thinking about loving you or getting to know you on a personal level.
How Long Before I know He Loves me
Rest assured as long as he’s demonstrating the characteristics found in this post, more than likely he’s already beginning to love you. How long that will take to reach a full bloom? There’s no clear answer on that. It will take as long as it needs to. The thing to be concerned with is, is he trying to love you and is he displaying characteristics of love.
You too can play a role in how long it takes to love you. We can’t take for granted a man will love us just because we feel we are “love-able”. We have to contribute to his love journey by not being overly possessive, critical, never seeming to be satisfied, and changing from who we said we were on that first date. If he feels you are a great catch, and you are making his journey a pleasant one, then loving you becomes that much easier.
Nothing is Perfect
Of course, he will make mistakes. Of course there will be arguments. But the Man that Loves you will always look to make things right for the sake of keeping the relationship together. He’s looking for the problem and trying to solve it. He’s listening and talking to you without being impatient or discounting your feelings. When he’s doing these things, he’s showing signs he loves you.
Yes, it can be hard to understand if your spouse or boyfriend loves you or is beginning to love you. Maybe he’s not saying those 3 magical words or not saying those 3 magical words often enough. Whatever the case may be, actions speak louder than words. It’s more about his actions than what comes out of his mouth. If he’s doing the things discussed in this article, that’s a good indication your man is showing signs of Love…
Article by Candace Harrison
Wouldn’t it be great if the signs were obviously clear about love. I mean, you spend time with someone, they do things for you, you laugh, go places together, they tell you they love you…so that must be a clear indicator of Love …. right? Sometimes not.
The question of love , can be confusing. Sometimes, there is so much going on in the relationship that looks like love but doesn’t quite feel like love. For every great moment spent together there could be several more moments that feel like pain, grief and loneliness. It can be tough to tell if you are being loved when you have so many things to think about.
When asking yourself “How Do I Know If He Loves Me?”, you will need to understand exactly what love is and what love does. Also, on the other hand, you will need to know what lust is and what lust does. Knowing the difference will help you decide how he may feel about you.
Understanding Love and Lust
Love and Lust are 2 very strong intense affections that feel alot alike. They feel so much alike they are often mistaken for one another. Some people that are in Lust think they are in Love. This mistaken identity is the main reason many women are confused as to how their mate feels about them.
Both Love and Lust can be erotic, exotic, fun, exciting, and give you that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling. However, only one will stand against the toughest of storms and fight till the end for you.
Take a look at the differences here:
Characteristics of Love:
- Love is committed to the relationship and you. It will make sacrifices for you, it will inconvenience itself for you, and your feelings will always comes first.
- Love will take time to get to know all about you, your family, your job, your likes and dislikes. Love will know your favorite color, your favorite ice cream, what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. It loves being with you in any way it can, even if it’s just cooking with you, watching T.V. or just calling you to go for a ride. Love is not sex driven, it’s driven off you as a person. You are the one that makes him happy, not sex. Sex is only an extension of that love.
Characteristics of Lust:
- Lust is not committed to you or the relationship. It will not make sacrifices for you, it will almost never inconvenience itself for you and your feelings most of the time will be second.
- Lust will not take time to get to know more about you or your family or your job or your likes and dislikes. Lust doesn’t know your favorite color, what’s your favorite ice cream or what makes you laugh or cry. Lust will want to see you almost every time for sex and if you don’t want to have sex, there may be an attitude. Lust is driven off sex. It’s sex that makes him happy, not you. Sex is very important and without it, the relationship stands to suffer.
To figure out if you are loved by him, you have to look deeper into your relationship. You have to look beyond what is being said and look at what being done to show he loves you. Just telling someone “I Love You” is too easy. It’s the work behind those words that makes the difference and makes those words powerful & real.
Love is Self Sacrificing and Patience
Love is very hard. It takes a lot of self sacrificing and patience in dealing with the other person. It takes a special person to care enough to deal with issues and problems that may come up in a relationship in a way that shows compassion. Love will look for the cause of problems and do their best to fix it. When a man loves a woman, he understands when problems come up there is no option but to work to hold the relationship together. Not to say it will be easy, but he will at least try to work with you to get through it.
A Genuine Friendship Exist In Your Relationship
The thing with love is, there is a genuine friendship between the two people that say they love each other. They can talk about anything, look to each other for advice, they trust one another, and no one can tear the friendship apart.
Love speaks in terms of “us” and “we”. Everything is about the 2 of you. There is talk of possible marriage and a future together. A man that loves you and plans on having you in his life long term will make sure that his friends and family know you. If there are kids, he will start to bring the kids around you.
Lust is a friend too, but often you’ll find you’ll be let down when you need him most. As long as you are doing things for him he’s happy. But when it’s time to return the favor he’s not so happy about it. You don’t feel comfortable discussing things with him out of fear of him getting angry or blowing you off. With Lust, you’ll find he will let friends and family get between the two of you.
Lust speaks in terms of “I” and “me”. Most everything is about himself and excludes you. You’ may not know well of his friends or family. Sometimes, you may hardly spend time with him and his kids together.
Does He Love You?
Looking at the characteristics of Love and Lust will help you answer the question “How do I Know If He Loves Me?”
It’s really all about understanding what Love really is. Because Love and Lust on the outside feels and looks the same, it’s not so obvious as to if he truly loves you until you start to analyze what’s going on inside the relationship.
Next time, he tells you he loves you, you now can understand if he truly does or not.
Article by Candace Harrison