He Says He Wants to be with Me Why Won’t He Leave His Girlfriend?

Why won’t he leave his Girlfriend?  Well lets back up just a little before we discuss that. Lets talk about you- the other woman. I’m sure you heard the other woman is considered to be a tramp, not worthy of anything good, a home wrecker..etc. etc. etc.  However, some good women actually get caught up in being the other woman. The other woman is not always a “tramp”. If we weren’t so angry at them, we’d see most are loving friends, sisters, aunts, and mothers.

This article is for the woman who is actually a good woman at heart and somehow got herself involved and caught up with a man that isn’t available. Either he has a girlfriend or is married. He’s given you a story about needing to get out of his relationship and how you are what he needs. He’s asking you to be patient and give him time to work it out.  However, despite what he’s saying you’re really not sure if he’s going to leave his girlfriend and need help figuring out what’s going on. Because this topic can go broad, I have narrowed this article down to this group of women mentioned above.

While I don’t advocate being the other woman, I know sometimes it happens that way for us women. This is apart of life, and it will continue to be.  So we have to deal with it just like we deal with everything else. With that being said, let’s talk about why you are reading this article in the first place…..

How Can I tell if he’s Really Going to Leave His Girlfriend?

If you are seeing a man that says he is unhappy with his current relationship and going to leave it, if this is a true statement, this is what he’s really  going to do. He’s not going to say this for months or let it drag on for years. He’s really going to leave.

A man that tells you he’s leaving his current relationship will start the process as soon as he makes you aware of it. It may all start by talking things out with his current girlfriend. He will make it known what his intentions are to his soon to be “ex”.  Then he’s looking to find common ground with his girlfriend so they can agree that this parting is a mutual decision as the relationship is “troubled”.  They may not agree, but he’s looking to get out in the most tactful way possible. He starts to not spend much time with his current girlfriend, he takes her calls in front of you now and lets you “listen in” on conversations with her.

He’s moved out of the home they live in, he’s not letting the now ex interrupt his life with you anymore, he’s discussing his break-up challenges with you,  and he’s making you the forefront of his life now.  He really looks like he is making efforts to leave his relationship and be with you. All the signs are super obvious, you honestly know and you feel he’s trying.

Another thing he may do, which can feel a little tricky and throw you for a loop, is ask for a little time to get over his relationship. A man truly looking to move on really does need time and space to himself  so that he can clear his mind  and heart of the past and come to you free and available to give all of himself to you without any distractions.

On the other hand, a man that is still spending a lot of time with his girlfriend, still lives with her, takes her calls privately when you are around, remains sneaky about being with you, still reporting in,  still lying to her about his outside affairs, and allows her to interrupt his time with you is a man not preparing to leave his current relationship. He’s making it obvious to both you and his girlfriend he’s not going anywhere soon.  His actions  look like “I haven’t told her I’m leaving yet“.  If he did tell her, he didn’t say it in such a way he really meant it.  To you, it has to be obvious that he is in fact preparing to leave his current relationship as I spoke about earlier.  Actions speak louder than words.

*Relationship advice Side note:

Beware of the man that abruptly  leaves his relationship  to be with you. This is a sign of a man who doesn’t care if he hurts you or not. He may have a problem with jumping from one relationship to another when he gets tired of being with you.  It’s how he does things that makes all the difference in the world.  If he’s being tactful and trying to work through parting ways with his girlfriend, he’s doing the right thing.



Relationship Advice


But He Says He’s In Love with Me

Even if a man claims to be ” in love” with you doesn’t mean he’s going to up and leave his current relationship because he could “love” his girlfriend or wife too. Perhaps he’s been in the current relationship so long he has a hard time letting go of it.

A man could be emotionally attached to his girlfriend for various reason, such as the girlfriend did or does a lot for him or she helped him through troubled times.  This could also make leaving harder to do.

Being “in love” with you does not mean he’s going to leave her, so don’t let this alone make you think he will.  There are other factors involved.  Let’s be mindful too,  it’s  really hard to be in love with someone when you have someone else you go home to every night and refuse to leave, isn’t it? A man that’s really in love with you, will be ready to be with just you and no one else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he doesn’t love you, I’m just telling you what love does and will do for you.


Relationship Advice


Am I Not Good Enough For Him?

It’s not that you are not good enough or else he wouldn’t be with you at all.  Sometimes, when a man is having hard time leaving his current relationship it’s because he’s emotionally attached to it.  His current girlfriend is like “family”.  He loves her even if it’s not hot and spicy love. It’s the time and memories with this person he’s attached to. He’s comfortable and safe with his current relationship. He feels his girlfriend or wife at home is a sure thing and everything else is pretty much a gamble.   He feels after all games have been played, even if his outside affairs fail, he can always return home to his “sure thing” without feeling he’s lost anything.

Are you good enough?   Sure you are. If he didn’t have a girlfriend or wife, more than likely he’d be with you. But when he’s challenged with his feelings and any benefits from being in his current relationship, leaving it is not easy to do no matter what he tells you.  You are good enough.  You just came into his life too late in the game , that ‘s all.


Relationship Advice

Why won’t he leave his girlfriend – I don’t know what to do

If you are asking your self ” why wont he leave his girlfriend” then obviously you have reason to think he’s not leaving his current relationship anytime soon.  If you stuck around for the “wait and see what he’s going to do” and it’s been a year, I can give you that. Cudo’s to you for sticking it out because I know that wasn’t easy.  But once you get into the 2nd and 3rd year of hearing the same ole’ line, you can really only blame yourself  for any wrong you feel about this.  A man will do and go as far as you allow him. If he can have his other woman and his girlfriend/wife for the next 20 years , he’ll do that if you allow it.

Sure he “loves” you. And I use the word love loose here because LOVE is something special. If he loved you whole heartedly, he’d be with only you. But because there is the girlfriend or wife  in the picture you will never enjoy what it feels like to be  100% loved. Neither will you know how much he “loves” you until something jeopardizes his current relationship with his girlfriend or wife.

Let me explain with this example:

His current girlfriend or wife  finds out about you and he is caught cheating.  How he deals with being caught when this all hits the fan will tell you how much his love is worth.  If he begs his girlfriend or wife  for forgiveness and promises to leave you alone, you know he’s definitely not leaving her and his love isn’t worth 2 cents.  If he fesses up about wanting out of the relationship and takes this open door opportunity  to be with you and leave her,  he could really care about you.

Let’s go a little deeper now and think about all we’ve discussed here in this article…..

Would you really want a man to leave his girlfriend or wife for you. I mean if he does this, don’t you think he just might do it to you too? Something to think about isn’t it? If you have to ask him about leaving his current relationship, something is not right.  And maybe it’s not right for you to ask him to leave his girlfriend for you. Think of the girlfriend or wife, put yourself in her shoes.  As much as you may not like her, it’s her man you are dealing with. How would you feel if another woman was pressuring or asking your man to leave you?

Sometimes you need to ask yourself,  “Should I leave the relationship if my man is already involved and has no intentions on leaving  his girlfriend or wife soon?” Because in reality it can all start and end with you. Waiting on him to make a move can either be the reason for staying with him or the reason you opt out.  You have to see both sides of the coin here, I can’t just give you one side because a lot of what you are dealing with can be the result of the decisions you make.

To Stay with Him or to Leave

In situations where it doesn’t look he’s leaving his current relationship soon, you have to decide if you want to settle for being the other woman or if you want more. If you settle, you make the most out of the time you have with him and stop complaining about his girlfriend or wife. If you want more than what he can offer you and are not happy, start looking for your own man you can have 100% of.  It’s really just like that. Just keep in mind, should you decide to be with a man that clearly is not making any arrangements to leave his relationship, you are now really the other woman with someone else’s man, as you know “what time it is”.  You may wind up being short changed and broken hearted more than you like to be. Real talk here.

Understandably, you may have your feelings wrapped up in this and leaving him alone is hard to do. It’s always easier said than done. Only you know how long he’s being saying he’s going to leave his current relationship and what you two share. Use your head and not your heart to understand and look for the signs that tell you what he’s really up to.

Final Thoughts…..

A man that loves you and really wants to be with you will do just that without you asking him to do it. He will realize on his own that his current relationship with his girlfriend or wife is not for him anymore.  He will follow through on his word to you that he’s leaving and done with the relationship.  He will make this move because its what he really wants and not because you want him to do it. He will not make the decision to leave just to be with you. He will make the decision to leave his relationship because he feels he no longer has his heart or love in the relationship with her and want to be fair to her. He will end his relationship as tactfully as possible, taking as many steps needed to accomplish it to lessen the pain on both ends.  This is what a real man does.

When he’s ready you’ll know he’s leaving his relationship and coming to you, because it will be obviously clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s found real love with you and ready to accept you in his heart.

You may also want to read: Being involved with a Man who is Already in a Relationship

Why Do You Think He Won’t Leave His Girlfriend?

Leave a comment, tell us your thoughts…




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