Wouldn’t it be great if the signs were obviously clear about love. I mean, you spend time with someone, they do things for you, you laugh, go places together, they tell you they love you…so that must be a clear indicator of Love …. right? Sometimes not.
The question of love , can be confusing. Sometimes, there is so much going on in the relationship that looks like love but doesn’t quite feel like love. For every great moment spent together there could be several more moments that feel like pain, grief and loneliness. It can be tough to tell if you are being loved when you have so many things to think about.
When asking yourself “How Do I Know If He Loves Me?”, you will need to understand exactly what love is and what love does. Also, on the other hand, you will need to know what lust is and what lust does. Knowing the difference will help you decide how he may feel about you.
Understanding Love and Lust
Love and Lust are 2 very strong emotions that feel exactly alike. They feel so much alike they are often mistaken for one another. Some people that are in Lust think they are in Love. This mistaken identity is the main reason many women are confused as to how their mate feels about them. I mean there’s no mistaken love, when your loved you have no doubts or confusion about it. You are not wondering if he loves you or not. More on this in a moment.
Both Love and Lust can be erotic, exotic, fun, exciting, and give you that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling. However, only one will stand against the toughest of storms and fight till the end for you.
Take a look at the differences here:
Characteristics of Love:
- Love is committed to the relationship and you. It will make sacrifices for you, it will inconvenience itself for you, and your feelings will always comes first.
- Love will take time to get to know all about you, your family, your job, your likes and dislikes. Love will know your favorite color, your favorite ice cream, what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. It loves being with you in any way it can, even if it’s just cooking with you, watching T.V. or just calling you to go for a ride. Love is not sex driven, it’s driven off you as a person. You are the one that makes him happy, not sex. Sex is only an extension of that love.
Characteristics of Lust:
- Lust is not committed to you or the relationship. It will not make sacrifices for you, it will almost never inconvenience itself for you and your feelings most of the time will be second.
- Lust will not take time to get to know more about you or your family or your job or your likes and dislikes. Lust doesn’t know your favorite color, what’s your favorite ice cream or what makes you laugh or cry. Lust will want to see you almost every time for sex and if you don’t want to have sex, there may be an attitude. Lust is driven off sex. It’s sex that makes him happy, not you. Sex is very important and without it, the relationship stands to suffer.
To figure out if you are loved by him, you have to look deeper into your relationship. You have to look beyond what is being said and look at what being done to show he loves you. Just telling someone “I Love You” is too easy. It’s the work behind those words that makes the difference and makes those words powerful & real.
Love is Self Sacrificing and Patience
Love is very hard. It takes a lot of self sacrificing and patience in dealing with the other person. It takes a special person to care enough to deal with issues and problems that may come up in a relationship in a way that shows compassion. Love will look for the cause of problems and do their best to fix it. When a man loves a woman, he understands when problems come up there is no option but to work to hold the relationship together. Not to say it will be easy, but he will at least try to work with you to get through it.
A Genuine Friendship Exist In Your Relationship
The thing with love is, there is a genuine friendship between the two people that say they love each other. They can talk about anything, look to each other for advice, they trust one another, and no one can tear the friendship apart.
Love speaks in terms of “us” and “we”. Like “We” hit the lottery! There is talk of possible marriage and a future together. A man that loves you and plans on having you in his life long term will make sure that his friends and family know you. If there are kids, he will start to bring the kids around you.
Lust is a friend, but often you’ll find you’ll be let down when you need him most. As long as you are doing things for him he’s happy. But when it’s time to return the favor he’s not so happy about it. You don’t feel comfortable discussing things with him out of fear of him getting angry or blowing you off. With Lust, you’ll find he will let friends and family get between the two of you.
Lust speaks in terms of “I” and “me”. Like “I” hit the lottery! You’ may not know well of his friends or family. Sometimes, you may hardly spend time with him and his kids together.
Does He Love You?
Looking at the characteristics of Love and Lust will help you answer the question “How do I Know If He Loves Me?”
It’s really all about understanding what Love really is. Because Love and Lust on the outside feels and looks the same, it’s not so obvious as to if he truly loves you until you start to analyze what’s going on inside the relationship.
Article by Candace Harrison