Get Your Ex Back in 3 Steps
If you have broken up with your partner and you want their love back. The first thing NOT to do is become a nuisance and appearing to desperately need them to live. Things like constantly texting and calling, or showing up un-invited at their home can drive a person away.
While this may seem like the thing to do to get your ex to come back. It actually can drive them further away. No one is going to be with you or love you out of pitty. So now is time to stop crying over the phone , stop sending desperate texts to them, and stop popping up at their job/house looking like you’ve lost everything. If you’ve been doing these things, STOP. It may be tough, but you really need to stop if you ever want a chance to get your ex back.
You need to understand why doing these things will only get you a negative response….It’s very annoying! It’s this annoyance that pushes your ex further away and gets them running from you. This is not what you want.
The hardest thing to do when trying to get your ex to reconsider coming back, will be to step back and allow some breathing room. Giving breathing room gives that person an opportunity to calm down, get their head clear and think about things without being aggravated and frustrated. This time also allows them to wonder about you and what you are doing. You are creating a stress free environment for them. It’s this stress free environment that helps in getting your ex back.
Let’s talk about how to create this stress free environment that can help you win them back…..
Step 1. Getting Yourself Prepared to get Your Ex Back
What ever you are doing to try to get your ex back, stop as mentioned above. Get yourself together. Go out with friends and start feeling good about yourself. Get a new hair style, try a change in wardrobe, take on a new hobby, or even apply for a higher paying position at your job. All these things will help cheer you up and keep you busy. The busier you stay, the less time you have to sit and be sad and be tempted to call/text your ex. The more you do for yourself, the better you will feel about yourself and the future. These things too, essentially, are the things you are doing to prepare yourself for getting your ex back. So don’t take this tip lightly. More on this in a moment.
After sometime has passed, perhaps a few weeks to a month, send your ex a letter and apologize for some things that may have been said and done. Let them know, you were just thinking of them and hope they are doing well. In your letter do not mention anything about wanting to get back together, or what happened the day the breakup occurred. Your goal here is to only apologize for things YOU DID and to make sure they are ok. Your ex will be more apt to read your letter at this time because you have not been “bothering” them. Don’t be surprised if your ex send you an apology back. If they do, simply say thank you, you appreciate it.
Keep contacts to only special occasions like birthdays, holidays, etc. Your goal will be to appear to have a better out look on things. This will make your ex feel you are only interested in their well being and not looking for anything in return.
This will be a road to go down slow, until you get to the point they are seeing you in a different light and not thinking you have some motive in mind. Eventually and with time, they should start to respond positive and friendly as they feel you’ve changed your focus and not “chasing” them any longer.
Step 2 Getting a Meeting
When you have given enough time to build up trust and peace, you can then decide if you want to tackle asking your ex out for a friendly lunch. Keep in mind, you should never ask them to come to your house or come any where that will make them feel you have something up your sleeve. Meet in a public place, early in the day to make your ex feel comfortable.
When you meet your ex for the first time, you want them to see a “new and improved you”. They’ll take notice of your new hair style, wardrobe change, your talk of your new hobby and see that you’ve been moving on with life and not letting the break up get to you. Things like this get an ex to take notice of you and see how great you are looking and doing.
Keep the conversation general and do not talk about getting back together. To do so may make getting another lunch date impossible. If they don’t bring up the past, you don’t either. If they do bring up the break up, don’t dwell on it. Make a friendly comment, say you understand …etc. then smoothly change the subject. You now want them to chase you. After your meeting, say your goodbye’s at the table ..wish them a great night and be on your way as if you have a schedule to keep too.
At this point you may be tempted to call them that night, just to thank them or talk. But don’t let your excitement ruin everything you’ve been building. Keep your cool. You don’t want them thinking you’re using the date as a way to get back with them. They’ll be expecting a call from you, but when they see you haven’t called, they will wonder why and that will put you on their mind.
Wait a few days send a thank you text, and don’t send any more texts. If they try to strike up a text conversation, keep it brief and don’t prolong the texting. End by saying “Thanks Again for meeting me….. I’m off to do a little shopping. If I get a chance, I’ll check on you later in the week…..have a great night :)”, for example. You are showing you are not the same lost and hopeless love puppy you were in the past. You want to display a confident and even headed person that has a wonderful life. Your ex will sense this, and who doesn’t want to be around happy people?
You contacting your ex later in week makes them anticipate a call/text from you. They’ll be waiting to hear from you. Again, an illusion to create a sense of giving space and not thinking of much more than being friends. This sometimes, gets an ex to wonder and think about you.
At this point assess your feelings, do you like things the way they are? Or, are you still wanting to get back together? If you like things they way they are keep it simple and friendly making small contacts without being overbearing.
If you think you still want to get back together move to the next section…
Step 3 The Second Meetings and Beyond
If you are interested in another lunch, try to change it up and meet for coffee. This second meeting should be spaced about a few weeks to a month from the last meet. Remember, this need to be done very slowly. By this time things should be calm and cordial.
At the second meeting let things flow naturally and see where it goes. No talking of the past or getting back together. You want to have a no pressure atmosphere. Just be friends. This is the best thing you can do to keep the air clean and happy. It creates the perfect environment for love endorphins to manifest. Use the same tips as in step one above. This time it’s ok to send a text that night to say you enjoyed seeing them to today. Keep texts brief, wish them a good night and you’ll be in touch.
Repeat these tips until the both of you seem to be feeling a spark. You’ll know when the time is right for taking things further….or not.
A word of caution:
I want to mention, if you do decide on meeting with your ex , just make sure you’ve given enough time to pass and your ex has started to respond favorably to any contact you have made with them. This is very important. The time needed is hard to say. The nastier the break up, generally the longer healing time is needed. Use your best instinct and don’t be impatient.
Take it one day at a time and be patient, this will be the toughest part about the whole getting back together thing. Don’t trouble yourself with thoughts of them running off with someone else. If they truly loved you in the first place and worth getting back, they won’t be in another serious relationship right after breaking up with you.
Real and true love on both ends will play a major part in them coming back whether it be just as a friend or a lover. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, if it’s true love it’ll come back around. That is very true. So don’t rush it or worry yourself with thoughts about who they are with. Real love will make it’s way back.
I suggest too, if you want to rekindle things with your ex, stay single. Don’t try to make your ex jealous. This can have a negative effect. If your ex thinks you have moved on in a new relationship, they may feel getting back with you is not an option. Don’t even pretend like you’re in a new relationship. You are just getting yourself together now and loving life. That’s all your ex needs to know. Keep yourself available to win back their heart, if that is your goal.
While no method is guaranteed, these tips are a good way to better your chances of getting back your ex. Use them wisely