I Love You – Do you think your man knows what this means? For some men “Love” is: Great Sex, Gifts, Being with You, Going out and Good times. However, often this “love” seems to disappear when times get rough or when things get “boring” in the relationship. Men tend to get mean, uncaring, and unthoughtful when things aren’t going so good. This leaves you with a feeling of “does my man really know what love is all about?”
Men that know what love is, know that love isn’t just great sex, gifts and hanging out. They know that love is a deeper connection with you. It’s goes beyond sex… it goes beyond gifts…. and it goes beyond having a good time with you. Love is connecting with you, your mind, your heart and your spirit.
Men that know what love is, also know that when disagreements or issues come up they are to show love during these times, just as they do when times are “perfectly good”.
Loving You -Not Just for the Good Times
If a man is willing to call you their girlfriend (or wife), laugh with you, hang out with you, borrow from you, buy things for you,live with you, sleep with you and call this love……. rightfully they should be willing to listen to you, consider your feelings, understand when you are hurt, and be willing to work out problems and call this love too. Love isn’t just for good times, it’s for bad times too. As a matter of fact, people need the most love during troubled times.
Does Your Man Know What Love is?
Men that don’t know what love really is will often use sex and gifts as away to express their “love” because this is the only way they know how to. When they want to show you they “love you” they will buy you a gift or take you out, for example. However, when the two of you are at odds the gifts and sex stop for that time period. They default to being what women feel as mean and uncaring. When the two of you have made up, then the sex , hanging out and gifts appear again as a way of showing “they’re sorry and/or they love you“. But this isn’t really love at it’s best.
Often men that know what love is and how to really show it have either come from homes where; their parents are still together, their dad really cared for their mother, there was “religion” practiced, and/or there was a lot of affection growing up. These kinds of men also take the time to find out about how to love a woman, because they really want to please her. They are level headed and mentally together with no real deep underlying issues. Should you find such a man, you have a real gem. He may not be problem free, but he knows how to work things out with you and be rational.
Men that don’t know what love is or how to really show it sometimes come from homes; where dad wasn’t around, where his father didn’t respect his mother, where there was no “religion”,where gifts where used in place of showing affection, and where there was no example to follow in how to love your mate.
Then too, some men that have a problem with showing love can deal mentally with deep inner issues that makes them unbalanced when it comes to love regardless if they come from a “good family” or not. Their mental issues overrides everything ( ie severe jealousy, low self esteem, problems with drinking or drugs, damage from past experiences, trust issues…etc) making it seemingly impossible for love to be displayed. Men like this can not reason with you and lack rational thinking which is a critical component of loving someone.
Lastly, some men simply don’t take the time to learn how to love a woman.
Separating the Men from the Boys
This is where I say knowing how to love a woman separates the men from the boys. Because I believe as an adult you can want to do better and if you see something is not right , seeking help is the best option. Just as you are reading this post, it shows you are interested in learning more about love and how to fix it, so should a man do the same. If man wants to truly know how to love you , he will research how. He’ll get online, buy a book, ask other men that seem to be in good relationships…etc. Just as he would look online or in a store for a part to fix his car, he should be willing to find information on how to fix his relationship.
Take a look at this article: What is Love ? Here I spell out exactly what love is in a relationship. If you’re man is doing the things in this article then surely he may have loving you right. If he’s not doing the things as mentioned in the “What is Love” article , he may have some learning to do.
I Love You – How to Get Your Man to Understand What this Means
If you think your man doesn’t really know how to show love or know what love is, getting him to understand might be tough but certainly do able. If your man wants to better the relationship he may be open to couples counseling. If counseling is not an option the two of you can have your own private study from a relationship help book that the two of you pick out together. The two of you can opt for some quiet time together for an hour just to work on the relationship via the book (or online) once a week. I found, if you make it fun this can really be something the two of you enjoy and love to do often. You’ll find this will bring the two of you closer together as you learn the true meaning of love and how to make it work.
On the other hand if your man is stubborn and counseling and or reading a self help book with you is just plain “dumb” to him. This is a tale tell sign of someone that may be problematic to you, especially if you are questioning if he knows what love is. You’ll need to decide if this will be a good relationship for you long term. Usually issues and problems just don’t go away without 2 people working together, it just gets worse.
Love is a Two Way Street – Don’t Make this Mistake
Keep in mind love is a two way street. You may feel it’s all him that’s the issue. And, in trying to get him to “act the way you want” you can lose your grace and inner beauty which can cause even more problems and make it even harder to love you. Women can sometimes get upset, argumentative, and unlady like in trying to get a point across to a man they feel is just not understanding her feelings. This can have a negative affect when we are trying to get him to love us they way we want. When a man says “I Love You” and mean it, he want to say it to a woman he truly loves and adores for her grace and inner beauty. So let’s be careful not to lose that about ourselves along the way.
If your man knows what love is, the signs will be obvious in how he treats you in good times and bad. If he’s looking to always make things right under all circumstances then he may know what loving you is all about. If your man only seems to love you when times are good then he run for the hills when times are bad then, he’s possibly he’s got loving you all wrong. Hopefully this article has given you some insight as to how you can work with your man to get love on your side.
Article by Candace Harrison
I Love You, Make these words count.