Why Do You Keep Taking Him Back? Being a Fool For His Love
Are you a fool for his love? Do you ever find yourself constantly being mad at the things your man does to you but still continue to be with him or take him back? Are you always saying to yourself this is the last time he’s going to do this to me, yet you stay with him? All women are probably guilty of this in one form or another.
The question is why do we as women do this? I mean… we have to take a real look at what makes us stay with a man that we feel isn’t the right one for us. Why do we continuously take back a man or stay with a man that continues to cause us pain?
Well it could be for several reasons a woman becomes a fool for his love. The reasons may surprise you as to why women take so much from a man that does her wrong.
Let’s get into the root causes of what could be the driving force behind being a fool for a mans love as discussed above.
The reasons are, but definitely not limited to:
1. She doesn’t believe anyone else will want her – Believe it or not, some women actually feel this way (insecure). This could be because she doesn’t feel attractive, has kids, or feel she doesn’t have enough to offer a man. She may also feel this way because she doesn’t get approached by a lot of men or men don’t seem to gravitate toward her. The man she is with is the man that makes her feel she is wanted and desired.
2. Low self esteem/insecure with self – This relates to reason #1 above. Low self esteem will cause a woman to take back a man over and over again after repeatedly doing her wrong. The need to feel accepted and needed is great within a person that has low self esteem and is insecure.
Women with low self esteem and insecurities at times tend to be jealous and always seeking to be better than the next woman as if it were a competition between her and them. In a sense taking back a man is winning the competition against other women her man has been with.
3. She believes he really loves her – This one can be tricky as you may have read in my other posts about love and lust. If a woman can not decipher between the two, lust can be mistaken for love. If she fails to see the reason he keeps doing her wrong is because he is not committed to the relationship, she may think he loves her when it’s really lust. A woman that knows the difference between love and lust, knows when to take back a man and when not to…. Or at least she knows under what conditions she will take him back. He will either need to step up to the plate or the relationship stays dissolved.
4. She believes being with him will keep him from doing wrong – Lets say a man is cheating on you and you catch him. But instead of leaving the relationship you stay in it, only to become a “private investigator” (PI) and try to keep him from either not cheating again or not seeing the other woman again. Women like this fail to realize a man is going to do, what a man wants to do ..if that’s what he really wants to do. You being in his life playing PI is not going to stop anything. He will cheat if you are in his life and he will cheat if you are not in his life….. if that’s what he plans on doing. Being with him isn’t going to change him.
5. She feels she won’t find anyone else like him – Funny we as women can feel like this. Some women have it in their mind that the man she is with is the only one that can have good sex or be funny or treat her to a dinner at some restaurant , for example. It’s like at this moment everything a woman likes about him over rules all the things she doesn’t like.
The truth is you can find plenty of men like this. What’s hard to find is someone who has a good understanding of what love is all about and someone who will treat you like a Queen and give you all the pleasures you like too.
6. She hasn’t set standards and boundaries for herself – When you set standards for yourself, after giving a person a second chance or even a 3rd, and they still do not measure up you end the relationship. You won’t continue to take a man back who isn’t in line with what you want for yourself. Having boundaries are like lines in the sand. When a person crosses that line, you realize it’s time to make changes.
A woman who hasn’t defined her standards and boundaries will find herself taking back a man time and time again because she doesn’t know what she really wants and she has no limit as to how much she will take. This can be used as a weakness to a man looking to use her as a doormat.
Stop Being a Fool For His Love
Of course there could be many other reasons women become a fool for a mans love. It doesn’t matter if you have 100 degrees , making six figures, have a body to die for or not… most women at some point have played some mans fool for some reason.
It’s important to understand it’s ok to be a fool once, maybe even twice and I’ll give us as women a third time just because we are human and when you love someone you want to give them a chance.
But it’s not good to be a fool over and over again for the same man that keeps doing you wrong and not giving you what you deserve.
There comes a time when you need to look at yourself, your self worth and get to a level of high confidence about yourself and stop the destructive pattern. In other words Fix You.
Take a look at yourself
If you are going through relationship problems. The first thing you should do is take a good look at yourself.
Understand why you may be doing what you do:
- Are you really just ignoring all the signs that something is wrong, yet you continue on? Why?
- Assess your feelings. Are you really “in love” or do you just “love” who you are with or do you know if you love him at all?
- Evaluate your standards. What is it you really like in man. Is that what you have in your current relationship or are you just settling for less than what you want? If so, Why?
- Do you see yourself married to him? or See a distant future where you feel you will be truly happy?
- Do you honestly feel he loves you? or Are you unsure if he does?
You’ll need to understand the truth to these questions to really understand if this is a relationship you feel will bring out the best in you.
If you want something better for yourself sometimes you have to pave that pathway yourself. If you are in a relationship where you can’t be the best you then maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship.
Understand we are talking about a relationship where you are being treated bad, being disrespected and communication is at an all time low.
If you and your man can’t come to terms on fixing your relationship and you continue to be hurt maybe it’s best you two agree on some “air out” time. That’s time apart to get your head clear and ease the tension.
Take time to get yourself together, join a fun fitness class, take a cooking class, go out with friends, and/or change up your look. Sometimes changing your daily routine can help you realize there’s a world far bigger than him.
Enjoy life and see what more there is beyond all this. You may just make it so someone better has the opportunity to meet you since you are not giving all your time (mentally and physically) to someone who clearly doesn’t appreciate being with you. However, this comes with time and should only come after you have gotten YOU together.
Find your happy place. You will thank yourself for it and wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
I never want to give advice to say leave your man, because I don’t know your history with him. It’s always easy for outsiders that don’t have any emotions involved to say “yeah girl leave him”. So don’t take that kind of advice from anyone. However, my relationship advice is always do what is best for yourself and love smart. Know “when to hold’em and when to fold’em”.
Article by Candace Harrison
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