Being Emotionally Needy – The Toxic Woman
Are you emotionally needy? Do you need constant reassurance that you are loved and appreciated. In this article we will talk about how to recognize this toxic behavior and put a stop to it before it destroys your relationship.
What is an Emotionally Needy Woman?
It’s a woman who looks for someone to constantly fill her need to feel loved, to raise her self esteem and to make her feel secure about the relationship. No matter what her boyfriend or husband does to show her she is loved, it never seems to be enough.
Being emotionally needy comes with traits like, lying to get sympathy, being controlling, and always looking to get attention by causing drama about what he is not doing to satisfy her needs. She may be manipulative with crying to get her way, need him to always call and be with her everyday, and have a need for him to make her the center of his world.
Often, the emotionally needy woman gives no space. When her boyfriend or husband tries to do things on his own, the emotionally needy woman tries to elbow her way into that personal space. When she gets resistance, she turns to trying to make him feel bad, by throwing a “pity party”. She may say things like ” You just don’t want to do things with me, I always want to do things with you” or “I know you just don’t want to be with me like I want to be with you“. She would even say these things when he spends more time with her than anyone else in his life.
An emotionally needy woman has lost touch with the fact that no one can be responsible for her happiness, self esteem, and relationship security. She seeks to get these things from the person she is with. She makes her boyfriend or husband responsible for her happiness, self esteem, and security when really she should have come into the relationship with these qualities.
This kind of behavior and characteristic is said to be toxic as it makes a man feel smothered and trapped in the relationship.
Creating a Healthy Happy Relationship
A healthy relationship involves 2 people with their own lives and a life together. She has a life, he has a life and they also have a life together. You can not invade the others space or make the other feel they can not do or say anything that doesn’t include you. In a relationship you have to allow the other person to breathe and have personal space, thoughts and actions.
The life two in a relationship share together does not cross over into each personal space or “life”. When you come together you share many things such as; time together, trips, outings, money, friends..etc. This is separate from each personal life. In your personal “life” you may have your own money, spend time with your own friends, spend time to yourself… etc.
As long as the other is being respectable with his personal space, it’s healthy in a relationship as it allows a person “freedom” to be themselves, freedom to make decisions, and freedom to control a part of their life. This makes for a relationship that isn’t smothering, or gives a feeling of being trapped in.
When you are making the other person in your life feel you will become sad and dramatized or upset if they do anything that doesn’t include you or thoughts of you, this puts a strain on a relationship. People have a right to “me” time. Depriving someone of this or interfering with this can backfire on you. It’s the “me” time that helps a person de-stress and detox mentally.
The constant drama and pity parties can also have a negative effect on a relationship. Almost never does drama bring a happy ending. A man loves a woman who is confident, gives space, and is emotionally balanced. They push away from the woman that is problematic, needy and can never seem to be satisfied.
It’s unhealthy for you too
And lastly, being emotionally needy can be draining to oneself. You will find yourself always unhappy and always feeling like you are in a constant battle to get him to “listen” to you. There is no need for you to be at war with yourself or him when he tells you he loves you and does what he realistically can to show you. It’s unnecessary stress and drama on a relationship that can cause a break up. With so many other things relationships are up against in this world why bring in the added tension?
When it comes to bettering or fixing your relationship its always best to start with the things that are under your control. Some things you have to deal with in a relationship like your man having a child with his ex. This would be out of your control, you can’t change this. But when it comes to things you control, like being emotionally needy, this is where you can make a change and start the fix up process.
Be responsible for your own happiness, self esteem, and security. No one can give you that but you. Do not to let your need for constant reassurance, attention and adoration destroy your relationship. If you find you have trouble coping, don’t be afraid to seek out a professional counselor to help you. The first step is realizing a problem exists.